Alexander is the only child of Toni Jo Friedmann, a Tennessean, and Victor Friedmann, who grew up in Denver, where his parents, Croatian Jews, landed after fleeing the Nazis. Victor attended Harvard and was completing a master’s in the Department of Aeronautics and Astronautics at M.I.T. when Alexander was born, in 1969. The family moved to Saudi Arabia, where Victor worked as a geophysicist at Aramco. They lived in the company’s gated community in Dhahran.
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Hall noticed that Friedmann had fallen asleep during one meeting. He seemed overworked. His activism was rewarding but draining. In Tennessee, Friedmann told me, pursuing criminal-justice reform “has long been a task similar to the punishment inflicted on Sisyphus.” His friends knew that he struggled at times. “He carried a lot of hurt,” Wolf said. “It drove him.” Jeannie Alexander, the prison abolitionist, told me that Friedmann’s relentless pace felt like “a way to channel pain and trauma.” She and Friedmann were close: in 2019, when he married Alice, his longtime girlfriend, who was a grants analyst for the state, Alexander officiated. Yet she knew little of his past. On the rare occasions when Friedmann brought up his crimes, he spoke with vague regret. He didn’t discuss his troubled family history or his suicide attempts.